5th Grade Loveline:

They are always so interested in my personal life. Especially who I am dating. Of course they think I am dating/about to date/interested in/engaged to/the wife of our D.A.R.E officer (Thanks Katy, for fanning that flame, btw).

Here is a little gem from today:

"Miss, what if you liked a guy but he was trapped in a snow globe? Would you try and kiss him through the glass?"


Also, a few months ago I had them do a fact and opinion acrostic poem using their names. One poem had to all be facts about themselves, the other all opinions. I used my own name for an example and I let them help me build it. When we got the the "I" in LISA one of the kids suggested "Is single". I know its a fact, but thanks for rubbing it in. SICK BURN KID!

Ahhh, can you tell we're new to the job?

Because none of us can find time to post to save our lives. And even though I have report cards etc to do tonight, I wanted to remind us all (including myself) to find time to post! We are all nearing the end of the year, and I'd love to hear how your winters/springs are going. Especially with the end of the year approaching, it's getting more and more difficult to maintain the classroom that I expect. I'd love some tips on keeping the behavior 'in-check.'
I'm off to accomplish something other than watching Glee and the Biggest Loser.
I WILL post this week. I have stories and things I want to talk about!

I hope you all are doing well and have contract renewals for next year!

Mother's Day Poems:

"You look pretty like a chihuahua that has just been cleaned."

Parents say the darndest things

I love when parents decide to get up on a high horse without ever making an effort to become actively involved in their child's education.

Missing open-houses, back-to-school nights, conferences, never returning phone calls or replying to notes that you send home...then having the audacity to get upset with us the teacher. Surely, the kids of these parents are also likely to be master communicators.

Scene-Conference with irate parents today:

Me: "When Little Johnny gets home from school, what does he tell you about his day?"

Dad: (shifts eyes nervously to look in direction of wife) "Uhm, well, uhm...after school...Little Johnny is really busy with...uhm...well..activities."

IF YOU AREN'T GOING TO TALK TO ME AT LEAST TALK TO YOUR CHILD! GODDAMN! I KNOW THIS AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE ONE!

Parents be crazy.

How to 'ack' cool...

according to 'E' my 2nd grader.

First you need: a par (pair) of blak sun glasis then a blak gean jakit.

Then you mint wont to spike your her. Then you leen on a tree. Then if a small ball role by you'e foot then pik it up and throwe it.

When I asked E where he learned how to be so cool he said, "I watch Simpsons." Obviously.

I wish you could see the matching illustrations. And yes, we are working on the spelling and adding details :)

"I am not a crook"

So student council elections are coming up and campaigning is going strong.

One of the kids in my class suggested to our nominee that he run on the platform of "NO MORE DRESS CODE! FREE PIZZA EVERY FRIDAY! NO MORE HOMEWORK!!" You know the usual...

Thankfully, my wise and responsible nominee said that he can't make promises that he can't keep. "That would be dishonest".

To which his classmate replied, "Why not? That's what real politicians do..."

Maybe these kids are smarter than I've given them credit for.

I wonder if I look good for 23?

Sometimes I wonder if I am too sarcastic with this kids. My favorite part of this job is joking around and seeing what I can get some gullible kids to believe. Is that mean? Maybe. But it sure is fun.

For instance, the other day one of my boys asked me what year I was born. With out missing a beat, I replied 1927.

Not wanting to to do the mental math, many of the kids blindly believed this statement. Until one kid, you could see the gears turning in his head, said "Wait, that makes you over 80 years old...Miss, you look good for 80."