I wonder if I look good for 23?

Sometimes I wonder if I am too sarcastic with this kids. My favorite part of this job is joking around and seeing what I can get some gullible kids to believe. Is that mean? Maybe. But it sure is fun.

For instance, the other day one of my boys asked me what year I was born. With out missing a beat, I replied 1927.

Not wanting to to do the mental math, many of the kids blindly believed this statement. Until one kid, you could see the gears turning in his head, said "Wait, that makes you over 80 years old...Miss, you look good for 80."

"MISS, IT IS LIKE WE LIVE IN A SNOWGLOBE!!"

It snowed for the better part of the day today. Big fat flakes. Keep in mind I live in Houston, TX. And that the forecast for next week call for the mid 70's.

The kids couldn't believe it! They were so amazed by every aspect of it and I really made me think about how much us northerners (or Yankees as some would say) take those little wonders of the season for granted.

They couldn't wrap their little brains around how it was piling up and collecting on the ground, the roofs, and GOLLY GEE even the tops of cars!!!!! I think when it snows down here (which is rare in the 1st place) it doesn't stick. Today it did, at least for a bit.

It was fun. The parents flipped out though. By the end of the day I was down to 10 kids. Everyone else got pulled out by parents and taken home. Can you imagine if that were to happen everytime it snowed 1 to 2 inches in MI? We'd never have any students!

There is a door there?

Yesterday our fire inspectors came through looking for any violations in the fire code, and yes, I had a few infractions... I like to decorate my door, it makes the room more cheery. However, one of the recent changes in fire codes states that doors cannot be covered past the door handle. The reason? Kids might not know there is a door there.

So...

The last time I posted was...well I don't even remember. Since then, I feel like I have been on autopilot. I get up, go to work, come home (do more work) go to bed and repeat.
However, I have finally felt as if I'm getting ahead with my work. I know how you feel now, Josh, because I don't feel as though I have to stay until 6:30 every night. Finally!
The biggest update I have is somewhat surprising. I am getting a student teacher.
Yes, the girl who has been teaching for 3 mos. gets an intern. Make sense of that. Not that I'm upset, or don't want one, but I am still learning, just as she is! I have met her- she's super nice and very enthusiastic. Her program is a full year, but is set up differently than ours. She will be taking over my room for a couple of weeks etc, which will be nice. I sure hope I can be all that my teacher was for me...well at least somewhat as good!

What do you guys think of this? Is this something you'd do? If anything, it will be really nice to have another teacher in the room, especially during reading...

"Your mom lets you use that?"

While stapling Indian head bands today one of my girls came up to me in all honesty and asked, "your mom lets you use that?" Referring to me being able to use a stapler!!

Shorter days?

I've been noticing myself being able to leave a bit earlier. My routines have been developed, tweeked, trashed, and re-developed, tweeked again and now seem to be taking shape. I do not have to put in that extra hour or so a night to re-think and re-design things. Which means that I am riding the wave of weekly plans and surviving in a more mentally sound manner!

How about all of you? Just dealing with the daily grind or still beating yourself up over the little things. It is easy to do after all. Are your nights becoming longer- and days at school shorter?

You know how there is that old saying, "There is no such thing as a dumb question."?

Well, I have come to disagree with that statement.

We have a field trip on Friday and today I had a little pow-wow with my class about Do's and Don'ts for the trip.

One of the things that I was asked to stress to the kids was that they are welcome to a bring water bottle on the trip as long as it is filled with ONLY WATER.

20 hands immediately sprang into the air and I knew where these kids' minds were headed.

"Please save all questions for the end. I might just answer your question before you ask." I advise.

I went on to further clarify "That means you shouldn't take a Gatorade, pop (or "Coke" as they call it down here), Red Bull, juice, lemonade..." listing off every non-alcoholic beverage I could think of. I also went off on the tangent that taking an empty bottled water container and filling it with a liquid other than water does NOT make bringing that liquid along for the trip okay. Bottom line is I went on for 5 minutes trying to make my point CRYSTAL FUCKING CLEAR that you should only bring WATER.

"Any questions?" I dare to ask at the end of my tirade.

"Can we bring Vitamin Water? :::LOUD MOAN::: But why!? It is better for you than water!"

"How about those little flavor packets that you can dump in your water and shake up? Can we bring those?"

"Can I bring Gatorade? NO? But what if it is a light color, like yellow or pink?"

"What if we bring a water bottle filled with half water and half sprite?"

I have learned to ignore these ridiculous questions. Not so much as glance in the asker's direction. Some of the kids find it necessary to then just continue to shout their question loud and louder. That doesn't stop me. Increasing your volume will not make me dignify your stupidity with a response.

I just move on as though I heard nothing. As though they are not even in the room.

Is that mean?

Whatever, it is better than poking them in the eye with a sharp object, which is what I am tempted to do on a daily basis.

Can I teach orphans instead?

Now hear me out, my class is great. I love each and every one of them no matter how frustrating they can be at times. But teaching a class of orphans means that I wouldn't have parents telling me that I don't communicate enough despite weekly, in-depth newsletters with attached research articles on education... and that their child doesn't learn because they don't have 8 pages of homework every night, but they have perhaps one page of homework and math games and reading that they can do...

As one of my colleagues says, "Do they go into their doctors office and tell them how to run their practice? No. So don't come into school and tell us how to run our classroom..."

I am only one person... I can only do so much... How can I possibly do MORE??

Snow Day...in October!

There are only a few things that are greater than hearing this phone call at 7:30pm last night,
"Hi! Guess what? We don't have school tomorrow!"
It is totally worth the foot of snow that is covering my car and my newly carved pumpkins. Or, as my kids say, my punkins.

Cock-Roaches......

My room is infested with COCKROACHES!!!! GROSSSSS!!! Mold as well...maybe the explanation as to why I have been sick for so long! Someone is suppose to come spray my classroom tomorrow and I pray they do! But as for now they are all roaming my room, reading books, snacking on boxes, typing on my keyboard, and whatever else they fancy! Ugh!

Next year I would like to stay in one grade level all year, have no mold, have no cockroaches, more students for job security, and maybe be inside the building where I can interact with others more easily. I'm sure my list of wants will grow as the year continues!

Real Life Questions From Real Life 5th Graders: Part 1

"Miss, do we make you go home and drink wine everynight?"

The answer is no. You make me drink beer.

1 Step Forward and 2 Steps Back

Well---I'm sure we can all relate the to post title. This ebb and flow of behavior and instruction is such a battle! We have a good afternoon, which leads into a great morning the next day....and something happens at lunch. This something is figurative- but SOMETHING happens. They come back from lunch a possessed lot of evil do-ers. All plans for the afternoon are then shot. My kids flat out cannot be in groups. This roller coaster ride of student behavior is enough to make me.... I think there is a home MSU game this weekend...anyone in town for a tailgate?

In other news- Very weird thing happened the other day. Last week my worst student in terms of disruption and behavior was suspended for 2 days. For some reason he shows back up without serving the 2nd day. He was is a great mood too-- ya right. Well at about 11am I get a call from the office saying tell "lil johnny" to pack his things, he's leaving. I was like okay...our secretary was like: all of his things, he's not coming back.

A bit of a wow for me. Never had this scenario play out in my imagination--- the mom and I have only talked a couple of times-- she gave me no warning, and now in front of my whole class I have to announce that "lil johnny" needs to pack up EVERYTHING. I had an empty spot in my stomach-- felt awkward and very quickly came up with a new mentality---now maybe--- just maybe....yes....of course! All will go on perfectly now!

Things have been much better the past two days. I have learned, however, that because the mom wants to ship the kid off to live with dad----8 hours away--- that she would have to sign over custody, which wasn't in her plan. I have been warned that there is a slight possibility he will return. Philosophically I am at a loss on this one!

For the record- on average my daily distance is about 7 miles, about 10,000 steps or so. I don't know that they make men's shoes for this.

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news but..."

"You're classroom flooded over the weekend."

Excellent.

I think the saddest part, besides the fact that someone left the water running in my room all weekend, was the fact that I thought the bad news was we couldn't find the science book.

F for FRANTIC

The worst feeling in the world is putting failing grades into the gradebook. It is a double whammy because it means I am failing too!

Gosh, what am I doing wrong?!

I get an "N" for 'Needs Improvement'

Yes, report cards have come and gone. Parent-teacher conferences flew by as well...now it's time to count down until Thanksgiving Break! (38 more days!)
Things are going well in CO, my kids are finally falling into the routine (after 41 days of school) and they are finally starting to understand that I will only talk when no one else is talking.
Hint, hint, zip it!

(Change of subject.)

I do find myself wanting more though, which scares me a little. I've only been a teacher for 2.5 short months and I'm already I'm thinking about what else I can do. Unless you consider switching grades a promotion, I'd say the teaching profession is lacking something...
Sure we earn more money each year, but I know that won't be enough for me. It's odd to think that already I have my dream job. Most of my friends are struggling to figure out what they want etc and here I am. Settled. When you think of it like that, it's funny-I've already accomplished the goal I've had since I was seven. It's frightening and yet inspiring-

I think maybe it's time to check out some grad schools. I need another goal!

...and I could walk a thousand miles...

Ok- challenge to all. I bought a pedometer the other day. I wore it for the first time today. You wouldn't believe how many steps- and what the milage was...well maybe you can- but try to guess. After you guess- go out and buy one and try this out. Lets see how many miles we can all put together.

Closest guess wins a drink when you all get your asses back here sometime soon! Guesses must be either labeled steps or miles....

This might sound uber-creepy but...

I love watching kids read...like REALLY get completely lost in a book.

I went out and got the new Diary of a Wimpy Kid book after school yesterday and the kids were basically mauling eachother apart to be the first on to read it. The kid who ended up with it this morning finished it by the time the PM bell. A 214 page book --albeit there are plenty of doodles in the book--in one day.

That kid was hooked! And I bet I loved watching him enjoy the book as much as he seemed to like reading it.

Why can't they all be like that? : )

Meap Meap!

Yes- it is that wonderful time of year where students in our lovely state prove their teachers worth! MEAPing is abounding- stressed teachers- over-tested students- and haywire administrators unite during this time to truly delve into the inner workings of education. It is by these test scores, after all, we will be able to gauge the best of the best, the elite-- and those who just need to find a new line of work.

Not at my school. Its our "baseline" year. We have no progress to report being a brand new school. it is interesting, however to explain to the kids 5 times how to fill in a bubble. It is also a weird trip from a student desk to mine to find my birthday sheet because one...or two of my 4th grade students do not know their own birthday- so I have to look it up for them.

What an interruption to a daily flow that has really just begun to take on some traction and grip!

inner city........gotta love it

so the other day i had a few minutes left at the end of class so i let the kids have a dance party...i noticed about 3 girls doing this dance, very similar to each other...so i asked them what they were doing and they replied "the stanky leg"  One of those moments where i put a book in front of my face and laughed my ass off.  Lets not forget these are KINDERGARTNERs...

It's cool to say OMG

boy 1: OMG

boy 2: What does that mean?

boy 3: It means oh my god, but it is the cool way to say it.

All 3 boys now say OMG every chance they can get, even though 2 of the 3 do not know what letters O M and G are

3rd times a charm!

I had a five year old run out of my room three times yesterday! But on a funny note today I gave my students plastic zip lock baggies to put their abc cards in. After the instructions a little boy who I am afraid doesn't understand everything I say said "is this to put my sandwich in?"

Straight from the Horses Mouth

"A lot of you are choosing to say the word poop to be funny. Remember that's not a word we use in this classroom."

Fact: This is my job. I am 'technically' paid to say those words.

Myth: The word poop can't be used in the classroom. I say it all the time under my breath, but in another form, starting with the sh- brothers.

"Miss Patterson, Do you know who Harry Potter is?"

He is a wizard and he can fly around just like Cris Angel.

Weekend Shmeekend

Where did my weekend go? I'm sitting at my table filling out report cards (already?!), planning for next week and thinking about sub plans. When does it all end??
Sometimes I wonder why I chose the only job that requires work on the weekends.
With that said, I had an excellent weekend and I hope that all of my planning etc pays off...ahhh, another week.
How do you all spend your weekends?

Attack of the Hormones Part 2: Electric Boogaloo

I didn't think that the day would come that I would have to take student break-ups and make-ups into consideration while making a seating chart. 5th grade "boy/girl" relationships are crazy.

Let's hope they are not fornicating on the desks by the end of the year...

Custodial Moment

A kid crapped in a urinal. I don't know what else to say.

Teacher, "The word is corn. Say corn."

Kids, "P-orn!"
Teacher, "No, you're saying the sound "p" at the beginning. If you say "p" instead of "c" you're saying porn."

Thank goodness there were no other adults around. *





*Story courtesy of my friend, the kindergarten teacher.

Attack of the 5th Grade Hormones

If you've known me for a while you know that I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE when the word "french" is used as a verb. Which is why this little tidbit makes me all the more delighted.

Our class is finishing up a novel study of the Sci-Fi classic A Wrinkle in Time. At the end of the book, our heroine (Meg) and the boy she had been pining for the whole story (Calvin) finally kiss.

When this happened, one of the young men in my class sheepishly raised his hand and asked:

"Miss, did Meg and Calvin just kiss? Or did they French?"

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

To which I replied "I guess you will just have to use your imagination..."

Kids these days...

Miss Booth, how do you spell W?

So far so good in Colorado! A quick update:
I went to the job fair at EMU and stood in line to talk the Cherry Creek school district. It's a posh area in CO with money and fantastic schools. After they rejected me because I didn't have a degree in Special Ed, I went to the table next door.
Hello future career.

Moving across the country has been a change, however, the biggest adjustment has not been moving, instead it's the feeling that I am responsible for these children.
I can no longer pass the buck to my CT or to anyone else. If they don't know their math facts or know how to read etc- it's all on my shoulders. Sometimes I think about the fact that the kids are 'mine' and that I am responsible for their learning and it scares me!

(p.s. thanks for inviting me to the blog, I'm exited to read/post!)

Saving lives...one stick figure at a time.

Dismissal at our school is crazy. CRAY-ZEE. There are 900 kids and there are only 2 busses, which means that the majority of the kids have to get home via parent pick up or by walking home. As you can imagine, the tiny parking lot is a complete zoo come about a quarter to 3.

Although the bell doesn't officially ring until 3:05pm, there is a gradual release of kids starting at 2:45pm. Which means my instructional time is over just a bit before that. This means that everyday I am left with a hand full of 5th graders to entertain for about 20 minutes. Naturally, hang man has become a favorite for the kids. Except for the fact that we don't play hang man, we play "rain man".

Let me explain. One of the first days of school, a student in my class mentioned that he doesn't like hang man, because by the end of the game, there is a good chance that the little stick man will perish. So, as a class, we came up with an alternative. Instead of noosing our man, he just suffers through a really bad rain storm. We draw a big cloud, big droplets, a big frowny face, and if we are feeling nice...an umbrella.

This is why I love teaching...the fact that some kids actually cared enough about our little stick figure that they wanted to save his life...although they still enjoy seeing him get a little soggy.

PS- The kids have no idea that this game shares a name with the 1988 Dustin Hoffman classic. I already asked.

Paper comes from logs...

Here I sit typing to this blog- when I have enough papers to grade they would make up an entire log.

There I added something to be laughed at---even if it is myself.

But really. Teaching 4th grade thus far has been an enduring task. I am amazed at the hours I have put in, and the apparent lack of effort my students will put in (well about 5-6 of them anyways). Last week alone I stayed Monday night until about 6:30. Tuesday night was about 5. Wednesday night was 10:10 and I still felt buried. Thursday- about 5:30 and then again on Friday night. I arrive at the school usually no later than about 7:05am. I was extremely exhausted. Monday was the worst day of teaching for me. I left a kid out at recess because he was pouting and I had a kid at the front of the line trying to get everyone muddy that I was dealing with. Whoops. Okay so then the weekend comes: go in Saturday at 8am. State game at noon. Back to the school until about 8:30. Sunday morning back at it 10 am. I left at 11am thinking F this.

All this is not to say: "look at what I can do" I mention this because tonight I came home at 5pm. Yes I have papers to grade, yes I should refine some of these lessons- BUT I had the best day of my year today. I do not think I can put in another week like last, but in that week I pressed myself to get some things organized, "reflected upon" and planned some things that I had just overlooked thus far. Today I felt the payoff. I sense that this pattern may continue to occur with less hours of input- and more positive outcome. The time is well spent. We are a devoted lot. The frustrations are real, no doubt- and the tunnel is long. Don't let yourself think for one minute that the light at the end of it is the train.

Last point- I felt very prepared to teach. The program had its um...things but I was very confident in my ability- as should all of you. But wasn't it an odd and somewhat scary feeling to look out at those kids and realize that you are the responsible party. Responsible for so much. I seriously freaked out a bit. But since have decided to embrace it. It's part of why I won't let them settle for less.

Miss you all.

It's good to be happy

All last week I was sick with the flu. Being my first year I sucked it up and went to work almost everyday. As much as you try, the way you feel on the inside does effect the way you act on the outside because one of my Kindergartners mentioned today, "Miss Gold you are happy today." in a tone of shock. Don't forget to take care of yourselves. It doesn't help you or the students to go to work sick.

So I obviously have those 2 or 3 kids in my classroom that if they were gone, things would run a lot more swimingly.  So I have devised a master plan.  I sit those kids with the students who are sick on a regular basis in hopes they would spread the wealth...Its a shame they dont teach you this in college, because it actually works!  Things will get better, im not sure what life is like in 4th grade but i can definately relate to what your saying, ive thought about switching to almost every profession available, and ive only been in school a month!!!  Your problem is universal, im sure every first year teacher feels the same...and so many teachers stick around for so many years so it obviously will get more rewarding as you go.

Miss Candybar?

One of my kindergarten students called me Miss Candybar the other day! :) Oh, so precious!

This is a blog for sanity's sake.

I need to re-adjust my thinking, to reframe my attitude. As a first year teacher, I find myself coming home each night wondering if I am doing it all wrong. I am finding it easier to dwell on the negative things that happen during the day than those things that are going right. I hate to see those moments of sheer triumph get lost in the shuffle. A wise man once told me that 20% of the people you know will account for 80% of the stress in your life. I find this to be especially true in the classroom. I am sure you can name those "20%" students without even a second thought.

I certainly don't want to get burnt out in one year. I certainly don't want to question why I chose this career in the first place.

I love teaching and I love kids. I think the most important thing I can do to combat the negativity is deligently record those little moments of joy that flicker in and out of my day. You know those moments in which a kid says or does that is so utterly ridiculous, or utterly adorable, or utterly astonishing that you can't help but stop and smile.

How wonderful would it be to have a collection of those moments documented to look back on during those times when you question yourself "Wait, why am I doing this again?"

This is a blog for venting. Unlike the classroom, profanity is acceptable.

This is a blog for celebrating. Tell me what is going right in your world.

This is a blog for encouragement. I promise that it will all be okay.

I hope you will join me in blogging those joys of a 1st year teacher.