You know how there is that old saying, "There is no such thing as a dumb question."?

Well, I have come to disagree with that statement.

We have a field trip on Friday and today I had a little pow-wow with my class about Do's and Don'ts for the trip.

One of the things that I was asked to stress to the kids was that they are welcome to a bring water bottle on the trip as long as it is filled with ONLY WATER.

20 hands immediately sprang into the air and I knew where these kids' minds were headed.

"Please save all questions for the end. I might just answer your question before you ask." I advise.

I went on to further clarify "That means you shouldn't take a Gatorade, pop (or "Coke" as they call it down here), Red Bull, juice, lemonade..." listing off every non-alcoholic beverage I could think of. I also went off on the tangent that taking an empty bottled water container and filling it with a liquid other than water does NOT make bringing that liquid along for the trip okay. Bottom line is I went on for 5 minutes trying to make my point CRYSTAL FUCKING CLEAR that you should only bring WATER.

"Any questions?" I dare to ask at the end of my tirade.

"Can we bring Vitamin Water? :::LOUD MOAN::: But why!? It is better for you than water!"

"How about those little flavor packets that you can dump in your water and shake up? Can we bring those?"

"Can I bring Gatorade? NO? But what if it is a light color, like yellow or pink?"

"What if we bring a water bottle filled with half water and half sprite?"

I have learned to ignore these ridiculous questions. Not so much as glance in the asker's direction. Some of the kids find it necessary to then just continue to shout their question loud and louder. That doesn't stop me. Increasing your volume will not make me dignify your stupidity with a response.

I just move on as though I heard nothing. As though they are not even in the room.

Is that mean?

Whatever, it is better than poking them in the eye with a sharp object, which is what I am tempted to do on a daily basis.